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A Message for all Caregivers I bet you’re so tired. I am too.”

Date: November 11, 2020 - December 31, 2021

From: FREDLA <>

 Family-Run Executive Director Leadership Association

A Message for all Caregivers
November is National Family Caregiver’s Month and a time to acknowledge the contributions of caregivers of all ages and circumstances.
Often, too little is said about the unique demands on caregivers, (mothers, fathers, grandparents, relatives and families of choice, foster care providers, and others) for a child or young adult with mental health or substance use challenges. 
In recognition of National Family Caregiver’s Month, FREDLA is pleased to share the words and wisdom of Maria Shriver, noted journalist, author, and former First Lady of California. 
Maria writes The Sunday Paper, a digital newspaper that Informs and Inspires Hearts and Minds. Below are excerpts from her October 11, 2020, Sunday Paper.
Maria’s words speak to all of us in a caregiver role for our children with mental health needs. 

People are tired and exhausted.
Tired from trying to keep it all together.
Exhausted from trying to figure out how to pivot, how to redirect, how to home school, how to shift a business model, how to care for everyone, and act like it’s no big deal…

A friend once said something about me that really landed.
He said, “Every time I tell you I’m tired or I tell you all I’ve done, you just suggest one more thing I can do.
I feel like you don’t hear me.
Instead of giving me more to do, what I want you to say is ‘I see all you have done.
I see that you are tired. I hope you rest. You deserve to rest.’”

Bam. Ouch. I’ve thought a lot about that piece of “constructive criticism” and have tried to adjust so that I don’t get it again from anyone else.
So on this day, instead of giving you an assignment, I want to say,

“I see all you have done. I see all that you are trying to do to stay afloat. I bet you’re so tired. I am too.”
So today, please rest. You deserve to rest. We all do.
Today, I hope you take a moment and acknowledge all that you have been doing.
I bet you are flooded. Breathe.
I’m sorry about all the chaos, all the work, all the anxiety, apprehension, and fear.
I’m not going to suggest you do anything more today except… Rest. Breathe. Be. 

Maria Shriver
The Sunday Paper
October 11, 2020

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